I figured this blog was probably dead and there was only a
small remaining chance I would actually climb Mt. Hood to mark my 40th
birthday in April. My current path does
not lead me up 3000 vertical feet. And
it’s become clear on my numerous hikes over the summer; I can’t breath on the
steep inclines. I’m pushed to the brink
of hyperventilation and the recovery is long. I have a couple of theories about this. First, I am not in shape. Second,
I had asthma as a kid and have always suspected my lungs were a liability. Third, I can’t breath through my nose. It’s blocked by a deviated septum and semi-collapsed
nostrils. My nose was broken a couple of
times as a kid, first by a mini-golf windmill I didn’t notice and walked under as the blade swooped down. The second was a hard leather basketball to
the face, thrown by my sister who thought I was ready for her pass.
In my world, all questions lead to Google. First I typed in to my iPhone, “Is it best to
breath through your nose when exercising?”
That led me to all kinds of interesting facts. Mouth breathing limits the expansion of lung
capacity. Nose breathing oxygenates the
blood better. Expelling carbon dioxide
too fast (when you breath through your mouth) makes you feel breathless and
also drops the oxygen levels in your blood.
All interesting and troubling at the same time.
Next I Googled “mouth breathing” and found some really scary
web posts describing the effects of mouth breathing. Facial deformity, sleeplessness, suppressed
immunity, and even death. Oh my. But one bothered me the most. A quote from Deepak Chopra, “Breathing is the link between
the biological and spiritual elements of our nature." The web post continues, “If you are in a
meditative state, you are breathing through your nose.” No wonder I’ve never been able to
meditate. And I had begun to convince
myself I had ADD.
Further
Googling led me to septoplasty surgery.
A nose job. I know I need
one. Have even seen two different Ear,
Nose, and Throat doctors for their opinions.
Tapping the play button on the You Tube video of a septoplasty was the
wrong thing to do. The patients nose
stretched abnormally long and wide to fit surgical tools, crunching and cutting
of cartilage, blood loss. Oh my. Just like when I was addicted to the childbirth
shows on TLC while I was pregnant with Henry.
Horrific and mesmerizing at the same time. A train wreck. While behind the curtain, while they were
slicing through my belly to rescue poor little distressed Henry, my brain
contained a vivid image of what the whole scene looked like behind that
curtain. Now I’ve infected my brain with
the images of a stretched nose and blood.
With the sound of crunching and clipping.
Because
I really need oxygen in my blood and because I would really like to meditate, I’ll plan surgery for
just after the New Year. At least I'll be knocked
out.
